Navigating Relationships in the context of women’s circles

Following on from the piece I wrote about Navigating Relationships in the context of Friendship, Intimate Partnership and Therapy, I’ve written this one to acknowledge a fabulous question asked by Julia on Instagram… How do you see women's circles/spaces within this framework?

PLEASE NOTE : My thoughts here are relevant to a well-held and professionally contained Circle. Not all Women’s Circles are secure, safe spaces for relationships to flourish… If you’re not sure whether YOU are holding safe women’s spaces, have a look at the bottom of this page.

How Do Women’s Circles Fit Into the Framework of Relationships?

In our previous discussion about the roles of friends, partners, and therapists, we explored how different relationships serve distinct purposes in our lives. A natural follow-up question is: Where do women’s circles and intentional spaces fit within this framework?

Women’s circles are unique. They exist outside of typical relational structures yet hold deep value in emotional, spiritual, and communal well-being. Unlike friendships, partnerships, or therapy, a circle is a boundaried space—a container—with clear agreements and shared expectations. Let’s explore how they function and why they are different from the roles we expect from personal relationships.

The Circle as a Boundaried Space

One of the most defining features of a women’s circle is that it is deliberately boundaried. Unlike friendships, which evolve organically, or therapy, which is a structured one-on-one dynamic, a circle is an intentional gathering with rules, agreements, and expectations that help create a safe and supportive environment.

The presence of facilitation plays a key role. A skilled facilitator holds the nuance of vulnerability, ensuring that shared experiences remain contained within the circle and that emotional safety is prioritised. In a well-held space, the facilitator maintains a balance between openness and boundaries, making it different from unstructured conversations with friends or intimate partners.

The Circle as a Place of Choice

A circle is a space where participants choose their level of engagement. Unlike friendships that require mutual emotional investment or therapeutic relationships that involve structured introspection, a circle allows for depth by choice.

Some women may use the circle as a warm introduction to connection and friendship.

Others may come purely for the ritual or shared space without seeking deep personal relationships beyond the circle itself.

Some may use the circle as a place to drop into vulnerability, knowing that it won’t necessarily extend into day-to-day interactions.

This flexibility makes circles unique—they are temporary yet powerful, allowing people to share and witness without the obligations that come with personal relationships.

The Circle as a Sacred Third Space

In many ways, a well-facilitated circle functions as a ‘third space’—not quite therapy, not quite friendship, but something that carries elements of both within a container of shared experience. The intentional agreements in place allow people to be seen, heard, and validated without the expectation of carrying each other’s emotional burdens outside the space.

This is similar to group therapy, where participants share deep emotions but follow the guideline of not engaging outside of sessions. However, unlike group therapy, circles are often focused on shared wisdom, storytelling, and co-created experience, rather than a structured approach to individual healing.

That said, some women’s circles do encourage deeper connections beyond the space. Whether or not this is appropriate depends on the intention of the group. Some circles are designed to be a closed, ritualistic space, while others naturally foster friendships that continue outside the gathering.

The Challenge of Boundaries in Women’s Circles

Because circles often invite deep emotional sharing, it is crucial that boundaries are clear. Some considerations include:

• What happens to what is shared? Confidentiality agreements help ensure safety.

• How do participants interact outside the circle? Some circles encourage external friendships, while others maintain a clear boundary between ‘circle time’ and daily life.

• Is there a skilled facilitator? Without guidance, circles can sometimes become trauma-dumping spaces rather than supportive, held experiences.

• A circle should always be intentional in its design. Without boundaries, it can slip into something that resembles an informal support group or even an unhealthy emotional enmeshment. When held well, however, it provides a sacred and contained experience that allows people to share deeply without overextending their emotional energy beyond the space.

When There Is No Containment, Is It Still a Circle?

Not all groups of women gathering together are circles. If there is a lack of boundaries, containment, or leadership, what exists may be more of a community than a circle.

• A community is fluid, with shifting dynamics and relationships extending beyond the immediate gathering. People may support each other over time in an ongoing way, similar to friendships.

• A circle, on the other hand, is a temporary, structured space with clear agreements, allowing for emotional depth within a contained setting.

• Without leadership or structure, a gathering may lack the safety and integrity that a well-held circle provides, leaving participants feeling exposed rather than supported.

Both community and circles have value, but they serve different purposes. Understanding the difference helps clarify what is being offered in any given space, so expectations can be aligned accordingly.

Final Thoughts & An Invitation to Go Deeper

A women’s circle is a unique relationship container—not quite friendship, not therapy, and not partnership, but something entirely its own. It is a place where vulnerability is witnessed, not fixed, and where support exists within a sacred, temporary container rather than in ongoing personal entanglement.

Understanding the role of circles in our lives helps us approach them with clarity, intention, and respect for the boundaries they require. When facilitated well, a women’s circle can be one of the most nourishing and transformative relational spaces we have access to.

However, holding space is an art—and without proper structure and facilitation, circles can easily slip into uncontained emotional labour or unsafe sharing dynamics. If you are a woman who wants to learn how to create and hold trauma-informed, boundaried spaces for others, I invite you to join In the Red Tent—a supervision group dedicated to teaching women how to facilitate secure, well-held group spaces.

🔻 In the Red Tent is for those who want to:

• ✅ Learn how to structure a women’s circle with clarity and integrity.

• ✅ Hold space without absorbing the emotional weight of others.

• ✅ Foster connection while maintaining healthy boundaries.

• ✅ Lead transformative gatherings that are both safe and deeply nourishing.

  ✨ Ready to deepen your skills as a space holder? Learn more here and step into the art of holding a truly secure and empowering container.