Dear Soulful Mamas,
Today I have a series of questions for You and would love to hear your response. First though, you’ll have to wade through the background story!
My step-son is 16yo and wants to be a professional football player. Rugby League. He has been told by the local professional team that if he keeps playing like he does he will surely make it in.
I have been an avid anti-rugby Mama his whole life. I don’t like the physicality, and I particularly hate – yes I’m using that big word – the culture of rugby players where it is acceptable to throw hundreds of thousands of dollars at young men and feed them full of booze and whatever else they want, but not teach them the basics of life – like how to respect others, particularly Women.
This is not assumptions that I am making. I’ve known many People connected to the professional league : their accountant, the Police Specialist who has to ‘teach’ them about behaving in public, how to use social media etc., restraunt owners where the players frequent, etc.
But I’m losing track of my Self.
So the 16yo child of my heart wants in on this world because he loves playing footy. So I go along and watch his games to support his dream, even though I don’t love the dream.
These kids play hard. They are all excellent at the sport of Rugby League and tension is tight. Two weeks ago Bai got knocked out. This week, blood nose and twisted ankle. Four weeks ago his knee was sore and he wasn’t going to play, but his coach put him in anyway.
I’ve expressed my concern about the amount of injuries. As a child and teenager I was reckless in sport. I didn’t support my body by allowing healing, and I am still dealing with the consequences. I don’t want that for any of our kids. Sports Medicine has come so far since I was that age that there’s just no excuse for repeated injury in young athletes. But I’ve said all this, and in the end it is not my decision to make.
And even though Rugby is not my choice I go along to his games and have started to understand the rules. I can see the amazing athletic ability of these kids and I have great respect for that.
But my heart wonders, by going along and cheering am I giving my approval for everything that goes along with the culture of this sport? Am I becoming part of the support of a culture I distrust, because I am supporting someone I love?
When does the line get drawn between your heart and your child’s heart? When, if ever, do we as Mama She Bears say, enough is enough?
Or can we? This child is 16 and he is intelligent. He knows what he wants. He’s been taught by some of the toughest willed Indigos. No one is going to change his mind – and why should we? He can make his own decisions right?
Even if it absolutely horrifies this Soulful Mama’s heart…..?
The article When is it ok to stop supporting…? Or is it? was published by Hollie B., for the Institute for Self Crafting.
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Where to next?