Self Care means giving yourself 51% and the rest of the world gets 49% of you to share (from Jill Miller). We are administering self care when we choose to hold our own energy, being sure that we are sustained before giving (or taking) to and from anyone else.
When I feel worn out, like I haven’t been practicing self care, I first ask the question “Who’s is this?” because often, I can be taking on a whole lot of someone else’s stuff and not even realise it.
I’ve found the Who’s is this? tool to be so power-full because it is almost like a challenge to the Universe to navigate the rubbish feelings back to whoever it actually came from in the first place. When you’re a sensitive being with big wild dreams, it’s easy to take on other people’s junk. And you don’t have to keep it! Asking “Who’s is this?” is like lifting a blanket of poo straight off your shoulders! It releases burdens that are not yours, and energy that has been limiting you.
The Container Quest is an exercise that I was taught in my late teens when I was giving so much of myself to others that didn’t serve me. It’s a great visualisation for actively taking back your own power as well as letting to of other people’s stuff that you thought you might need.
Sandra Ingerman, in her book Soul Retrieval talks about the instance of “soul stealing”, whereby people in moments of anger or envy or suffering will snip a piece of someone else’s Being in order to use their innate power for themselves. If that sounds woo woo to you, think about a time when you felt you were with someone who was draining you (unfortunately that can often be a parent or old friend) and remember that feeling. That’s exactly what The Container Quest is for. Take back the energy that person is holding of yours, and move on in your awesomeness.
In our society we have often been taught that giving more to yourself than to others is selfish. I say “selfish” is the name for fish that Know ThySelf. So be a fish or be a human, but mostly, just give to yourSelf. Only when you show up for you, will you have the energy and strength to show up for others. Self Care is about ensuring that you give yourself more than you give the rest of the world. Put you first.
The Container Quest with instructions can be found in the February challenge in the Self Crafting Year Book.
The article Return to the Self : Radical Care was published by Hollie B., for the Institute for Self Crafting.
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